Oh, wait...

I don't have a MySpace.

Top ten reasons I hate MySpace

  1. Ads
  2. Ads that give you lots and lots of malicious software free of charge
  3. Lots of kids
  4. Lots of kids that think they know how to write (X)HTML and/or CSS
  5. It's the "in-thing"
  6. Mindless Self Indulgence
  7. Nickelback
  8. Terrible markup
  9. ???
  10. Profit!

"ur such a looser lol"

Why do they continue to take money from us for public school? It obviously has no effect.


It's spelled loser. See? One 'O'. You retards are actually making me forget how to spell it.


Please, if you claim English as your native language, learn to speak it. It's not enough just knowing the words. You have to know how to put them in at least some kind of order.

Also, cell phones

Why does every one and his toddler have a cell phone? Everywhere you look, there's anyone from 6 months to 87 years old with his or her head glued to a cellular telephone. Do you like cancer? Do you think cancer is funny?

Which brings me to my next point:

The government hates you and wants all of your money

They've been keeping the cure for cancer under wraps for at least 18 years. Quite possibly more. This is unacceptable, but nobody believes me.

Conspiracy theorists

The government would never lie to you. They're looking out for your best interests at all times.

The war in Iraq/everywhere

Having troops blasting ragheads in the Middle East casts a magical barrier around the United States that gives +90% resistance to Terrorist Attacks.

I'm serious.

If you are fuming right now, please send all hate mail to the following address: comments@whitehouse.gov. You can also write them at The White House, 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW, Washington, DC 20500. Thank you for your cooperation. You can also help by tuning into Fox News. The O'Reilly Factor is probably on right now.

I am a freedom-hating commie fascist

That's right. I obviously hate freedom because I think we need to get out of the business of other countries. That makes a lot of sense. Listen to yourself, you neanderthal.

"I don't get it... Which side are you on?"


We need a wall between us and Mexico

For reals, dawg. Mexicans are too poor and underprivileged to own ladders.

"Slag you, guy. We'll have guards posted at regular points along the wall."

Why can't you do that without a multi-billion dollar, government-funded, Halliburton-built wall?