Movies

There are actually movies I like. The following is an uncomprehensive list of movies that I like in the order that you should go see them.

  1. Heat (1995) - Al Pacino, Robert DeNiro, Val Kilmer
  2. Red Dawn (1984) - Patrick Swayze, Charlie Sheen, Powers Boothe
  3. Shooter (2007) - Mark Wahlberg, Danny Glover
  4. V for Vendetta (2005) - Hugo Weaving, Natalie Portman
  5. The Last Samurai (2003) - Tom Cruise, Ken Watanabe
  6. The Bourne Identity (2002) - Matt Damon
  7. The Bourne Supremacy (2004) - Matt Damon
  8. The Bourne Ultimatum (2007) - Matt Damon
  9. Spy Game (2001) - Robert Redford, Brad Pitt (Aside from the CIA, Dire Straits's Brothers in Arms is featured in this movie. Need I say more?)
  10. Batman Begins (2005) - Christian Bale, Liam Neeson
  11. The Punisher (2004) - Thomas Jane, John Travolta
  12. Black Hawk Down (2001) - Josh Hartnett, Ewan McGregor, Tom Sizemore
  13. Tears of the Sun (2003) - Bruce Willis, Monica Bellucci (awesome hostile-clearing scene with suppressed H&K MK23s alone; if that's not reason enough to see this movie, I don't know what is)
  14. Minority Report (2002) - Tom Cruise
  15. The Chronicles of Riddick (2004) - Vin Diesel, Keith David, Karl Urban
  16. Star Wars (1977) - Mark Hamill, Alec Guinness, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, James Earl Jones (Han did, in fact, shoot first; it's self defense!)
  17. The Empire Strikes Back (1980) - Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, James Earl Jones, Billy Dee Williams
  18. Return of the Jedi (1983) - Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, James Earl Jones, Billy Dee Williams (Hayden Christensen was not in this movie)
  19. The Phantom Menace (1999) - Liam Neeson, Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman
  20. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005) - Martin Freeman, Mos Def, Sam Rockwell, Zooey Deschanel, Warwick Davis
  21. The Matrix (1999) - Keanu Reeves, Laurence Fishburne, Carrie-Anne Moss
  22. Jurassic Park (1993) - Sam Neill, Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, Richard Attenborough, tyrannosaur
  23. The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997) - Jeff Goldblum, Julianne Moore, Pete Postlethwaite, Peter Stormare (it wasn't spectacular, but I had to include it since I like Jurassic Park)
  24. Jurassic Park III (2001) - Sam Neill, William H. Macy, Tea Leoni, tyrannosaur (cameo appearance)
  25. Terminator 2 (1991) - Arnold Schwarzenegger, Linda Hamilton, Edward Furlong, Robert Patrick
  26. The Forgotten (2004) - Julianne Moore, Christopher Kovaleski, Linus Roache
  27. Frailty (2001) - Bill Paxton, Matthew McConaughey, Powers Boothe
  28. Flashpoint (1984) - Kris Kristofferson, Treat Williams, Rip Torn
  29. Gladiator (2000) - Russell Crowe
  30. Collateral (2004) - Tom Cruise, Jamie Foxx (the ending could've been better, but, if you're a gun nut, you'll probably like it at least for that element)

You should go see these movies right now.

No-Budget Z-Movies

There are also movies I and my cohorts have created. The list of current releases is as follows:

For Shame.
Based on a true story. (PG - Tell your kids that suicide is the coward's way out... but sometimes it is necessary, such as those times in which you must regain your honor) Trapped in a web of despair, two brothers must work to free themselves of the demons placed in them by evil forces found on the Internet.
The Truth About Scientology
Documentary. (PG - Intense sci-fi action violence) The Tongue shows us just some of the benefits of paying like a zillion clams to the Church of Scientology. This is the documentary that showed me the light and made me convert. I am a born-again cosmonaut.

The uncomprehensive list of unreleased movies is as follows:

Pikie's Tuff Hardcore Interview Show
Series. (TV-G) Late-night interviews of people you've never heard of by everyone's favorite TV and movie personality, Pikie. Guests as of this writing include myself, Clint Blizzard, British rock legend Jon Wieberg, Bonzo Banoiny, Rascal Raccoon, big ol' spherical duck, General Panasonic, Colonel Sanyo, Amonost Doriath, and Jon Wieberg (no relation).
A Crazy Life
(Incomplete) Animated series. (TV-Y7-FV) The epic stick adventures of some stick people who live in stick Montana and inflict violence upon their stick foes. Starring the voice talents of myself, Clint Blizzard, and Jon Wieberg.
A Crazy Christmas
(Incomplete) Animated Christmas special. (TV-Y7-FV) Christmas episode of A Crazy Life in which Santa is replaced with a new, "hip" Santa who says "ha! ha! ha!" instead of "ho! ho! ho!" WTF!

We are currently in the pre-production stages of an actual low-budget sequel/spin-off of The Truth About Scientology for which the title is yet to be determined. The screenplay is still in the works and negotiations with no-name actors and the military are pending.